Rapper Retirement Home: Sit Down Joseph

               Who more fitting to start something like this with than Fat Joe himself? I stumbled upon an interview he had with Angie Martinez not too long ago, and in the interview Joe tried to prove he’s still relevant to Angie. I could tell in her tone she was trying her hardest not put Joey on blast. That’s the saddest thing about Joe’s career. Out here in Los Angeles, if you ask Mexicans, Cypress HIll is STILL the shit, and always will be, (even though none of the members of Cypress Hill are actually Mexican) however, it appears to Latin’s in New York, Joey just doesn’t have that appeal.

               To be honest, I never did care too much for Fat Joe. Back in his DITC days, he was clearly the whackest member of the crew. “Flow Joe” ? Trash. I remember wanting that track “John Blaze” (featuring Nas, Pun, Jadakiss, and Raekwon) so bad, which was probably on one of his many whack ass acronym titled albums, but refusing to buy a Fat Joe album to get it. Thank god for CD burners. The height of Fat Joe’s career was holding Pun’s umbrella in the “Still Not a Playa” video. After Pun’s passing, Joe went on to completely disassemble the original Terror Squad, and hop on any track he was strong enough to lift his self onto with every corny person in the music biz (Ja Rule, J Lo, Ashanti, the list goes on). Didn’t Joe say he had fruit fights with Diddy? exactly. Let’s not talk about Joey outside the booth. He once challenged Carmelo Anthony to a Jordan shoe battle. Carmelo’s response “I have my OWN Jordan shoe,”. Easy ‘Melo, Joey has a shoe too. It’s called the “I don’t know why we’re releasing these, nobody buys low-priced shoes,” No, actually they’re called ”The Blackout”.

Now, I respect people trying to release low-priced kicks, however, if it didn’t work for Shaq, Hakeem Olajuwan, and Stephon Marbury, why the fuck would it work for Fat Joe? I’m not even gonna speak on the Pun’s wife situation, because it’s hard to tell what’s true or not. However, if what she says is true, Joe is even more bitch made than he is a whack rapper. 
            
                Back to Joe’s whack ass music.   Joseph beefing with 50 didn’t help him either. It’s not like 50 killed his career either. Fat Joe didn’t have much of a career to kill. Fat Joe got the least attention out of all the people 50′s had beef with for good reason. He was the least relevant. At the end of the day, Fat Joe will always be “the other guy on the song”. Nobody remembers Fat Joe from “Make it Rain” They just remember the concept that Pacman Jones made so popular, and Lil Wayne on the hook. Even Weezy couldn’t bring Joe’s career back, and he’s made Bow Wow semi-relevant for reasons other than taking an anal raping in Madden. Now that I think about it though, making Bow Wow relevant is probably easier than making Joey relevant, seeing as how Bow Wow’s last album did 18000 first week, while Josephine did 8800 with ”J.O.S.E 2″. It’s ok Joey. I got an idea. Let’s make your next album another acronym based off a Spanish name. “J.U.L.I.O”. Joey Usually Loses It’s Obvious. There you go. I’ll cop a 6 disc burner, we’ll press up 5000 copies, and you’ll make more off each disc than Jim Jones ever did at Koch. I’ll help you Joey. With my portion of the profits, I’ll build a real “Rapper Retirement Home”, where you and the self-proclaimed $0.50 tax write off (or was it 50 Cent tax write off?) Tony Yayo can reminisce on the diss tracks you guys tossed back and forth at each other that nobody else cared about.